On the New Moon in Scorpio, I published a zine for the first time in more than ten years.
I’d had a lot of thoughts and ideas percolating in the back of my mind, and suddenly, for whatever reason (my Jupiter return, I assume), they came bubbling on out.
Prayer is the Delorean is the result.
It’s a collection of personal writing, in which I grapple with what it feels like and what it means to cultivate a place-based spiritual practice as a settler in an invaded land, with what it looks like to watch your country-folk practice unofficial Paganism out of sync with the seasons (we do Halloween in Spring down here!), with how I might go about making a life, finding my people, locating my traditions, treading lightly.
It’s also very much about loneliness, and longing for community.
What surprised me about this process is that the zine, through its making, became a kind of sigil. The making of it became a way to live with the tides, the waxing and waning of the moon. The practice of observing, drawing cards, writing, became a way back in. And so the zine itself is a kind of spiritual medicine.
You can hear me read one of the pieces from it, An Absence of Hierophants, below. Bonus points to anyone who can pick the moment when one of my cats started enthusiastically digging in the litter box!
It’s my hope that this little mark I’ve made finds its way out into the world. It’s my hope that other seekers might find it strikes a chord, and that anyone who feels a little bit lost in the weeds will know I’m down there, too, and feel a little less alone!
If you’d like your own copy of Prayer is the Delorean, you can order one here.